By Evelyn Oropeza –

At 19, mi mamá and I found out that I was three weeks pregnant, after checking-in to the emergency room for what I believed was food poisoning. The news hit us at the same time so there was no running away from it. I could not hide my pregnancy like many teenage mothers do by wearing papi’s T-shirts and telling everyone, “I’m just getting fat.” Mi mamá sat far back in the little hospital room and glared straight at me with a fake smile and teary eyes. I could not tell lo que estaba sintiendo. All she said to me was, “¿Ahora qué piensas hacer?” As if I knew what a single teenage mother would do.

When I went home mi papá had already heard the news. He didn’t speak to me and stood quiet that day.  He ignored the issue as if it never happened, but I knew I disappointed him and my family. I became another young, single, Mexican mother that every Latino parent wants to avoid. A recent study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found 53 percent of Latina teens get pregnant before they reach 20, and two-thirds of the Latina teen moms drop out of high school. Many Latina mothers don’t talk about sex with their kids because they think they are exposing them to a bad environment.

Rosie Molinary, author of “Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image and Growing Up Latina,” explains in her book that if parents don’t discuss sex with their children, they will seek advice from friends and partners. Of the 500 women that Molinary surveyed, only 6 percent said they were counseled by their parents.

Mi mamá never sat down and talked to me about sex. She knew I was dating but ignored the problem like many Latino parents do. Religion seemed to be the only cure to change their teens’ behavior. But if a child ends up doing something bad like smoking, drinking or having sex, parents should go talk to their teens instead of talking to el padre and praying el rosario for hours.
I just remember her telling me “está mal,” it’s wrong, and you don’t want to end up like “pobre fulana.” Chismes, was all I heard as I was growing up. I didn’t want to know about what fulana did and who’s el desgraciado. I wanted to know about contraceptives and where I could get them.
Condoms were the hot topic at school. Teachers, school nurses, counselors and friends gave them out constantemente. These rubbers came in so many flavors, sizes and colors, but when you’re with a guy since your freshman year in high school, a condom is boring.

In high school, girls were scared to try other contraceptives because of chismes that tal fulana experienced. Many girls were scared to go to the clinic because they feared the doctors would tell their parents. I was scared that mis padres would find out that I was seeking birth control. If they found out I was having sex, oh my god mis padres me matarán, or so I thought.

Now mi mamá has become my best friend. Yet, I find myself mad for not asking her about IUD contraceptives (where pregnancy is 99.9 percent preventable and lasts up to five years.) I wish mi mamá had asked me if I was being careful or to take me to the doctor. ¿Evelyn, te estás cuidando? ¿Quiéres que te lleve al doctor para que te den algo? However, I don’t think she knew much about birth control since she married right after I was conceived.

Before I got pregnant, mi papá and I fought a lot because of his machista glory and my stubborn nature. He used to be a strong believer that women were inferior to men, but he realized that he was wrong when he saw my struggles. Mi papá stood quiet during my first trimester until my baby bump started showing. He broke the silence one day when he went to the grocery store and asked me, “¿Qué quiéres de comer?” I felt at ease. To this day he has been a father figure for mi niña and an understanding father.

I don’t plan on being a housewife, watching telenovelas all day. At this point in my life I am working to get my bachelor’s degree and eventually a doctorate so I won’t be la tal fulana anymore. But I don’t recommend getting pregnant at a young age. I missed out on a lot of great things like study abroad and going to conferences. I missed having fun with my friends and attending college events. Ser mamá, working and going to school es una friega. So let this be a lesson to all the readers out there, infórmate, y disfruta tu adolescencia.